The Divorced Son: Part Two | Reflections
I didn’t have many friends when I was growing up. Attachment wasn’t a thing I trusted. My Dad and Mom split up when I was 8, and I ended up having to go to a public school not long after. I had some friends in Calvary Christian, they were like family. Mrs. Blamb was like a mother to me. I remember the security I felt in that place. I remember the Christian flag that meant a lot to me, with its pure white dove. I remembered the Lord’s prayer, at least part of it. I remembered them because they were given to me by God. I had a perilous path to follow, and he equipped me with faith that would never leave me, though I would turn my face from it through anger and fear.
I had was my brother really. I loved him
like the most precious person, probably because we needed each other. I probably needed him more than he needed
me. I remember pulling the little red
wagon with him in it, all around Sherwood, Ohio. We even entered the parade, which was a small
town parade with a bunch of people from town in it.
was a small town that took a few minutes to travel through, very forgettable to
anyone not associated with it. I miss it
mostly because it is where my father’s parents lived. My grandparents were amazing. My Grandpa and a few of his buddies pretty
much switched jobs in that town. He had
been Sheriff, Mayor, Fire Chief, Sewer Superintendent, and Deputy. He was bigger than anything to me. My brother and I would wear his hats and play
Grandmother had worked at a candy factory and she would get rolls of paper for
us to draw on. Not just a small roll,
but gigantic! We would roll it out and
create huge armadas of Battlestars from Battlestar Galactica. Cylons would be in ovals trying to attack the
ships. I would tip a pencil on end and
push down on the eraser making it make a long chaotic mark, hopefully striking
a Cylon ship. We would do this in the
living room, across one whole section.
It was awesome!
house they lived in was old and whitewashed, and it had these stairs that
always creaked at the most inopportune times.
It was drafty and one of the things they did to make it less drafty was
pin curtains up in each archway. One
happened to be in the entrance to the stairs leading up to the bedroom we would
sleep in. More than once, we would get
caught trying to edge down the steps to listen to our parents and
grandparents. The bedroom was spooky
too, but that was because it was old and my imagination would run rampant. Yet again, the cause was fear.
distinct memory I have is of watching the Challenger shuttle launch. I was sitting there, on the arm of the chair
my grandfather was in. We were watching
with rapt attention. Then it just split
up into raging, billowing clouds of two lines of smoke. I didn’t understand. It looked amazing, but I knew something
didn’t seem right. Then my grandfather
told me what had happened, and I was sad.
When I think about it, it makes me think about all the truly courageous
people in the world. A lot of those
people are or were teachers.
public school I found something new. I
was at recess, and this kid came up to me.
He asked if I knew what this one bad word was, and of course I said
‘yes’. I didn’t, but I was scared. I remember wanting to be a part of them. It was during this time that I had a moment I
regret to this day. I helped them make
fun of a tall girl. There was no reason
for it. And after, I remembered that
these people treated me the same way because I had glasses. I felt bad, and I don’t remember what
happened after that. I feel badly about
this event. I am ashamed, and I let my
students know about this time when I see them hurting other people’s feelings.
done some things right though. I have
never, ever been athletic. That’s my
brother, the epitome of athleticism.
But, I was in baseball and I never ended up trying out because I conned
my way out of it, through fear. So, I
ended up on the Bears. We were a motley
crew. We had a fat catcher, a tall
red-haired kid that stole bases well, and me out in right field glasses and
all. During that season, my mom asked me
at one time if I wanted to stop, which I did.
But, I told her that if I left then the people in the stands would only
pick on the catcher, so I took some of that ridicule on myself for being
horrible at baseball. I got one run that
season, it was my last. I will remember
the Bear Hug that my coach gave me after that run, it was heart-lifting. There are amazing father-figures out there,
you just have to look.
I hope I can be one of them.