The Divorced Son: Part Nine | Reflections

A boy in monotone walks alone on a city street.


I wanted to write these statements to help you understand me.  We all have a ‘Divorced Son’ in us.  We are all hurting.  I found God when I was young, then I turned away from him for actually answering my prayers.  I asked for God to save my grandfather, from my father’s side.  God claimed him that night.  

He allowed my grandfather a peaceful entrance into His arms.  I didn’t see it, because what I wanted was my grandfather to stay.  It was selfish.  It took me a long time to recognize that God had done what I asked, but in His way.  I had no right to be angry.  None of us do.  God will answer you in His manner.

I am not ever trying to preach to you.  I would never think I was able.  I just want to share what God has done in my life.  There are so many times He has saved me from myself.  He has used people that were absolute scum in my life, and He made them keep the sin away.  It is miraculous.  I don’t know why it took me so long to get to this point.  The point of hearing the Holy Spirit inside me, letting it speak to me.  Shutting out the song of sin, so that I could hear the voice of God. 

Our pride kills us every day.  It blocks us off from Jesus.  Our pride threw Jesus onto the cross.  Selflessness is so hard to achieve.  We will never attain it.  Only Jesus could.  We can try though.  We can try to see people with the eyes of Jesus.  To truly see them, and hear the need of their soul.  There are tears buried in people.  Deep scars.  Seeing ourselves as nothing, and never hearing the good. We can tell people that we are praying for them.  We can tell them the good we see in them.  God sees it in us.  The capacity of good can overwhelm the darkness.  We just have to choose it.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am not saying that our deeds are going to make us holier.  I am saying that we can extend the part that Jesus wanted us to, love.  We can make our lives better on this world, closer to what Jesus wanted for us.  He sees that the greatness in us is hidden behind a wall of fear.  That fear is ever present.  Many of us use drugs to combat it, but it really can’t be fought without knowing Jesus.  I hope you find Him, and that you listen to the Holy Spirit within you.

The first step is to turn to the bible when it attacks. (I also listen to Christian Music to help calm my soul)

The next step is to keep doing step one.

Eventually it will get easier.

Sin covers up the voice within you.

Your choice is what makes the voice louder, or stifles it.

We were all given choice….  So choose.

I love you, and I pray for you every night.

Ready for Part 10?

Sample these related posts:
To return to the beginning of the Divorced Son series.
To read part 2, about my paternal grandfather.
To seek God.
To find The Light.
To pray.

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